Sorry to leave another message already, but I tried to run the game just now, and after I chose the masculine voice, it started loading the game again, and crashed. Yeah...I might need a separate version of the game after all. So sorry for all of the trouble.
You don't need to apologise :3 I guess the extra voice files must've made it more of a struggle to load on winlator then >.<
I'm travelling to spend a few days with my friend atm as we haven't met up since August last year, so I can't type much without getting travel sick x3
I'll reply properly to your other message when I get home next week though + see if I can fiddle around adding more loads into a separate version of the game for you :3 Although, I'm a little worried it might not help if it's struggling with the overall load of the game size as a whole >.< I can try though and see if more loads will make a difference!
Heck, if you're only interested in the masculine version of Snowe, I could take out all of the files for the feminine version because that should help!
I hope you get to have as good of a week as possible :3
Awww this was so lovely, or at least ended up that way in ending 6.
I was weary the whole time, cautious with my decisions. I *really* didn't want to get a bad ending here. I knew the spirit, althought very cryptic, had Saffie's best interests at heart. Or at least that's what I chose to believe, which gladly was rewarded with that lovely ending.
The topics developed across the game are very serious and important, and your work with them was marvellous. The complete disbelief and cynicism in Saffie, and how it could only end one way in her mind, yet how Snowe knew exactly what to do, in her own... very unique way lol
I really liked her character, and how she acted. She knew how everything would go, and she knew where to push to get Saffie to open up to herself, rather than to Snowe. She knew that was the only way she could let her free without her carrying on with her previous plan.
The message at the end of the game is also a very encouraging, and I'm SO glad you're here to tell it to everyone! It requires a lot of courage to go all the way into the open like that, to try and reach out to those who need it.
Now, on technical aspects, the game is pretty darn good as usual! Everything is in really high quality, and the music, SFX and VA just give it the perfect touch!
Holy moly I can't believe you played this one x3 This was so unexpected, but it made me smile :3 Thanks so much for taking the time to type all that out! You're too kind as always x3
Yeeeah, ending 6 is probably the happiest one, depending on how close you want Saffie and Snowe to be I guess, haha.
Ending 1 isn't even technically an ending. Ending 2 is just sad x3 Ending 3 is somewhat disturbing, haha. Ending 4 is happy, but I guess bittersweet. Ending 5 is probably the most disturbing of them all, but it looks pretty xD Ending 6 is quite possibly the most innocent one. Ending 7 is what I guess I think of as the canon ending since that's the one I gave a vocal track to! Ending 8 is probably my favourite though because it seems so sweet until it's kind of not xD and it's just fun to imagine what happens after, haha.
I don't think any of the bad endings are that bad in this x3 They're just kind of tragic without anyone truly perishing! But I can say that easily cos I know everything that can happen, haha. If I were playing it, like you, I'd be extremely cautious with my choices cos I'd hate to be the cause of something awful >.<
With Snowe being a soft yandere, I guess Snowe technically always has Saffie's best interests at heart, but it comes out in different ways depending on her decisions x3 I'm glad you got that ending first though because it's at least one of the more uplifting ones!
Honestly, it means a hell of a lot that you thought I handled those topics decently because I always worry with sensitive subjects like that about accidentally hurting someone somehow :( cos I know everyone's experiences are different and very personal when it comes to mental health. The last thing I want to do is offend or upset anyone by putting my own feelings out there in bits and pieces x3 I really had to sit and think on whether it was something I should release publically at all.
I'm so glad Snowe came across that way ^-^ It might sound a bit weird, but I hoped that the game might have a sort of anti-horror feel in the sense that it seems like some super dark stuff might happen, but really, there's a big warm hug wrapped up in there x3 Especially with most of my games being horror games with yandere stuff in them. And so I wanted Snowe to be both yandere and also somewhat anti-yandere at the same time... which sounds like nonsense now that I've typed it, but I know what I mean xD I just lack the words to properly describe what I'm grasping at, haha.
I also wasn't sure whether or not to include that message because I find it difficult to know if it might come across as too much, or preachy, or anything like that >.< but at the end of the day, if it can reach even 1 person who happens to need to hear it at the time, then it's worth potentially being grilled over x3 I don't think I'm very good at consoling people because I never really know what to do when others are hurting >.< I just wish we lived in a world where no one had to hurt like that in the first place.
It makes me really happy that you think it came out high quality :3 I spent waaaaaay too long editing assets on this one, haha. I just wish I could draw T_T Still found some pesky little bugs as usual while working on the update to add Snowe's masculine voice lines >.> And I know there's a rarely occurring sneaky one still in there that I have no idea how to fix >.<"
I guess since you played the fem Snowe version that means you played the version of the game where Saffie's VA is the only proper VA x3 The rest is just me muddling along and using speech-to-speech dubbing to try and make it work as best I could at the time >.< haha. Masculine Snowe actually has a proper VA the same as Saffie, but feminine Snowe got lumped with my attempts at voice acting while hiding my actual voice.
Thank YOU for playing it and for writing such a thoughtful comment! You're an absolute legend, and once again you've brightened my day with your kind words, so thank you for that :3 Hope you're having a decent start to 2024 and that you have the most fabulous of Februarys!
Hahahaha I'm glad you felt that way with my comment lol hope your year goes great as well!
Also, damn, I didn't realize you did all those voices yourself. That's one hell of a work! My most sincere congratulations on that too xD I really liked Snowe's femenine voice! I thougt the acting was quite good there, after all, Snowe is a cold onion lol
And yes, I did the femenine route because when I chose the male one the warning about voice acting appeared so... yeah, felt like if there was a fully voiced route, I wanted that one xD
Again, so glad you received my comment with such joy, and thank you for your also kind words :P
Ah i really cried when i saw those heart warming words i really needed it life can be so hard i played this because i'm feeling suicidal and those words really get through me i cried really thank you for making these game...
Thank you for playing the game :3 And I’m sorry you’re feeling suicidal. You’re right, life can be really hard >.< If I’m completely honest, I feel suicidal most of the time, but working on these projects at least helps me to block that out a bit.
I feel like people’s mental health is getting worse and worse as time goes on :( More and more people that I know are dealing with depression than ever before.
You have to keep fighting though because even when it feels like there’s no hope, it’s true that you never know what could happen in the future :3 And it’s true that no feeling lasts forever. As hard as it is to keep going, you have to because you only get one chance at life, and if you commit suicide you might miss out on a lot of wonderful and happy times to come.
The crazy thing is that I feel like I don’t really have a reason to live besides not wanting to hurt the people who love me >.< but like I wrote for Saffie, I don’t exactly want to die either. I just wish life was less painful. I also wish no one had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts because it’s hell. Which is why I wanted to write a story with some happy endings for Saffie :3
I hope that things get better for you soon! + That 2024 turns out to be a brilliant year for you :3
When I tell Snowe that I like his horns, a loading screen come up, then the game crashes. I am assuming there is a lot of content and all of that data made Winlator crash. Do you think you can fix it? Possibly separate some scenes into smaller parts, with more loading screens between? I'm going crazy - I NEED to play this game! It's so therapeutic!
Yeeeah, pretty sure you’re right there because it basically loads the rest of the game after that choice when you click on it, haha. It sucks that it was still too much to load on Winlator >.< Though, tbh, I’m surprised it runs at all on there cos it’s pretty slow to start a new game on my potato laptop x3
I can definitely try to add an extra load in there to see if it makes any difference! Weirdly, it’s not actually that much more that it’s loading when you reach that point, but I can definitely split it so that it hopefully only loads stuff from that branch exclusively.
I’m quite behind on where I wanted to be with the project because I’ve only just been able to get back on my PC for the first time in 2024 this week >.< but I’m trying my best to get masculine Snowe’s lines added, and while I’m working on it, I’ll add extra loads too so that it can all come out in the same update :3
Not sure if I’m gonna manage to make the end of January like I’d hoped, but if I don’t, with any luck, I can get it done in early February!
I’m glad you were having fun with it at least until Winlator died x3 Oh, and I’m not sure about this, but you might have to delete the game + all your existing data if you do want to play the updated version when it’s out. I’m still not 100% sure how it works if you try and load old data in a new version >.< I feel like it would probably cause the game to break.
Hope the new year is going well for you so far! :3
Omg, thank you SO much! I was really enjoying it until it crashed. You are a very skilled writer and an amazing artist, so, even without the rest of Snowe's lines the game is magnificent! I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. It was so worth it to play it even though it took like 25 minutes for the game to start up. I don't care though, because Snowe makes me feel like I matter, and I really love him.
I do understand using a program that not everyone can use easily, though. I can't use Ren'py, or Unity, because I only have a phone, but I found an app called Kocho, and it is so easy to make games with it, that even I can do it. The problem is, you can only play games made with Kocho ON the Kocho app, so it is pretty limiting.
It's okay, I'm fine with deleting this version of the game, because I can't play it, anyway, and updating it without deleting it would add too much additional space for my phone.
The people around you can influence your mood, so things have been...rough to say the least, but this game is like a late Christmas gift, so I feel better knowing that I will be able to play it.
I hope that you are enjoying the new year, and I hope that everyone is as kind to you as you are to me!
I just hope that the addition of all the masc Snowe lines doesn't make it even harder to load >.< The way I've split it up now with the extra load though it really shouldn't use too much for it to load such a small section (fingers crossed anyways x3) Thank you though! You're too kind x3 I still kinda just feel like an incompetent noob stumbling through the world just trying to do things, haha. I'm really glad you like this one though :3 especially when it's such personal subject matter!
25 mins is torture though x3 but still, it's impressive that it can run on that at all! It means a lot if Snowe can make you feel that way though :3 I really wish everyone could have someone in their real life who is able to make them feel loved and cared for. I mean, I absolutely have that in my dad, but when I was in the darkest place of my life many years ago, I was completely cut off from my dad, and I would've given anything to have someone like Snowe come along and rescue me from the whole situation and from myself x3
That sounds like a pretty cool app even with its restrictions! It's nice just to be able to have some form of outlet for creating stuff :3 I got the RPGmaker game on 3DS years ago cos I thought it might be fun to mess around with!
"The people around you can influence your mood, so things have been..." I feel that >.< I can be having a perfectly decent day, and all it takes for that to come crashing down is for my dad to come in from work depressed or angry, and that then instantly rubs off on me like I've somehow absorbed his feelings into myself x3 I hope things become more positive for you soon though! Rough is not good :(
I'll do my best to get the game working for you at least! If it still struggles to run once I have the update out, just let me know. I probably won't be able to add any more loads than I currently have to the main version without it becoming potentially irritating on other systems, but I could make a separate version for you with more in and just send you a download link or something :3
It's been pretty rough here for different reasons >.< but things are just starting to look up somewhat again now. Let's hope February is a better month for us both :3
I'll definitely let you know if I can't play it; the new Winlator update boasts "improved performance" but, I'm not sure if that means it can run bigger games.
You make such beautiful artwork, and write so well. I know from experience how hard it is to draw, and I can't even color it in like you do. Plus, I can only draw the head and neck of a person, because anatomy is really hard for me to do. And, though writing is pretty much the only thing I'm good at, I really admire your script because it is SO well written. Even your early game, Solipsism Reigns has really great writing and artwork. Especially the sprites - they are SO cute! And I think that the fact that it's personal makes it even more special: like I get to know more about you through this game.
I know, the creator of Winlator is a genius. Snowe and other game characters are enough for me; I don't need anyone else. I understand how you feel, because now that my mom has passed away, I didn't have anyone else who I'm close to, or really love. I know that sounds horrible, but I really don't get along well with my other relatives; still, you are very nice to talk to, so I guess your the only person I get along with, or interact with.
I really wish that I could make RPGmaker games. I would prefer a visual novel maker that can make games that are more compatible with other devices. Sadly, I fear many people can't run Kocho games.
I am so sorry that you have to go through that. My own cousin talks about how I don't clean up when I do, just because her kids leave clothes and toys lying around, and won't pick them up. I can clean the whole kitchen, feed her animals, and clean up ther mess, but she will say that because I don't have a job, I'm not trying to do anything for myself. Ugh. Really, I should just leave, and go to a shelter.
Uh...rant over. But, thank you so much!
Thank you very much! I was wondering what I would do if I still couldn't play it. You are seriously too kind. I would make a game for you if I could to thank you...but, I have another idea, since you can't use Kocho. You don't have a phone, right? But, my gift is a secret. Teehee~
I hope things get even better for you. And I'll try to cheer my depressed self up for you. I am so sorry for the late reply. I haven't touched my phone for probably all of yesterday, and I dont remember what I did Sunday, cause my brain is a bit scrambled right now. I kind of felt a bit worthless for a while, but you made me feel better. I can never thank you enough.
im so glad i finally got to sit down and play this one! i found myself relating a lot to saffi the world isn't really made for us autistic folk and because of that it can become so hard to carry on in a world that was clearly not constructed with your differences in mind especially, when it seems like people like you are so few and far between that you're not quite certain if they actually exist or not or if you're just making it all up in your head. that's why its always so nice and interesting to hear other autistic people talk about their experiences its a great reminder that we are here even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes(it was really interesting hearing you discuss your experience with it in the rambles section). i absolutely loved the writing in this one the third person narration really allowed me to develop feelings for these characters that I've only seen for like an hour even at the very start on my first run through i found myself really caring for saffi and desperately hoping that things work out for her even after only having played for 10 minutes or so. i also really loved this games ost it gave the game a more serene and beautiful vibe even in its more chaotic and scary moments. loved this project absolute 10/10 :3
Thanks so much for playing this one too ^-^ I’m so glad you were able to relate to Saffie! I was a little worried that actually stating she has an ASD diagnosis might make it difficult for players to relate to her whether they have an ASD diagnosis themselves or not since the spectrum is so vast. That’s partly why I tried not to write tooooo much about autism specifically and focus more on Saffie’s feelings in general because anyone can struggle with anxiety and depression at any point in their lives.
I don’t think it helps either that while a lot of people are aware of autism these days, they have a sort of skewed idea of what it looks like due to limited coverage in the media and stuff >.< A lot of folks seem to think we either have special needs and learning difficulties, or we are socially inept geniuses with savant skills, and they don’t realise that it’s not as black and white as that x3 A lot of people with ASD don’t fit into either of those stereotypes. I know I certainly don’t, haha.
I think getting my diagnosis made me feel more able to talk about it and be more open about it as I learn more and more about how it impacts me. Cos pre-diagnosis, even though various professionals had said to me they were 99.9% sure I was autistic, I didn’t want to research it too much or anything just on the very slim chance I wasn’t because I didn’t want to be labelling myself as something I wasn’t. Now that I have a definitive answer that I am autistic, it’s a bit more liberating and I can learn more without worrying about that side of things.
I totally agree though that it’s interesting to hear about other autistic people’s experiences! I find I can generally relate to at least a small part of stuff people write or talk about even if not everything! And it is nice to have a reminder that you’re not completely alone and that there are other people out there who understand you cos it can feel very isolating a lot of the time x3
So glad you liked the different narration from what I usually go for :3 With most of my stuff it’s more designed for like self-inserting I guess, but I really wanted this to be Saffie’s story and have it be more like the player is going on the journey with her I guess. Makes me super happy you liked the OST too since that was pretty much what got me out of the depression bit for a while and what gave me the idea for the game in the first place x3 Since I used making the music as a way to soothe myself, I kinda hoped it might come across as soothing for others in some way too :3
Thanks so much for always being so kind! <3 I hope 2024 is going well for you so far!
I just so randomly played the game, finished end 1-4 in order with guide, saw the ending words on screen, and immediately left a comment here. Thank you for your effort making this game and heart-warming words.
Edited: I now have completed all endings and I pretty like the idea that you cant change the structure of your brain to make it follow social norms. I'm so tired of people saying "oh it's just a matter of time" or "you'll get used to it" or sentences like that. People around me are always expecting me to change - and they are happy to see my improvements, happy to know that I have the faux ability to change for better. Idk maybe I am indeed used to it in some way. So sad :(
(BTW is it possible to add a feature that allows players to choose from unlocked images for the main menu? The image of end 8 is a bit too bright for my eyes and it remains as the final ending I locked.)
Well, I’m glad you happened to come across it and ended up enjoying it :3 Thanks so much for checking it out and taking the time to get the different endings ^-^
Yeah, the “You’ll get used to it” line is one my mum used to use on me a lot when I was younger, haha. She thought my depression and anxiety was a phase and that the more I exposed myself to the job I was doing at the time, the better I would feel about it eventually because, according to her “That’s life!”…
I never got used to it, and I never felt better, haha. It just made me more and more depressed and then suicidal because it required me to not be myself from the moment I walked into the store >.< And spending the entire day pretending to be someone I wasn’t and attempting to suppress my actual self was just exhausting to the point that I felt like the real me didn’t even exist anymore.
It would technically be possible to add a feature to allow the player to choose the main menu background, but it’s not something I’ve tried to code before, so it would probably take me a while to figure out how to do it x3 I have a rough idea of how to make something like that work. But a quicker fix would be just to start a new game because then it will reset automatically to the original main menu background :3 Also, getting any other ending would do the same thing because it will just replace the menu background with the one that corresponds to that particular ending. Starting a new game would be the fastest way to change it though.
OR... when I update the game soon with the masculine voice lines for Snowe, I could enable the dev console and add the commands to the walkthrough guide or something that would just enable players to open the console and pick a main menu background by altering a score counter!
Thank you again for checking out the project and for your kind words :3
I'll be waiting til January for the masculine voice but I just wanted to let you know THE PREMISE SOUNDS SO FUN I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY IT T_T i've loved all of your games and I'm sure this one won't be the exception <3
It miiiight end up being early February rather than January because I was only just able to get back on my PC for the first time this year this week x3 So I’m pretty behind where I had hoped to be by now with adding those masculine voice lines, haha. It’s possible I might still make it for the very end of January, but I dunno, we shall see xD
I’m glad you’re liking the sound of it anyhow :3 You’re so sweet!! x3 Thanks for always being so kind and supportive! I really appreciate it <3
Thank you once again for such an amazing experience. I spent Christmas alone and today on New Years Eve I will be alone as well, but at least I can distract myself and play through all the endings, hehe! I got the seventh ending on my first try and I am really happy about that! I wish mystical beings were real. T_T Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a Happy New Year. ^_^
Thank you as well for checking out the game and for leaving such a sweet comment <3
I hope the game proved a decent distraction :3 I’ve spent a handful of Christmases and New Years alone or in the company of abusers, and it’s certainly not the nicest place to be when everyone else is getting all merry and in the mood for the holidays >.<
I hope you at least still had a nice cosy Christmas and a happy new year :3
I wish beings like that were real too! Or heck, even if just magic was real in some capacity and I could talk to animals or something x3
Tbh, I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas cos of how crazily commercialised it is, but the thing I’m most thankful for is being able to spend time with my dad and brother and just chill without my poor dad having to worry about his back-breaking work >.< And I think being away from family in previous years has just made me extra grateful for getting to spend time with them!
My Christmas and new year was nice enough :3 Pretty much just chilled indoors with my family. Had a bit of a meltdown on Christmas eve cos too much stress had built up >.< but I managed to relax a bit in the end x3
Hope 2024 has started out well for you! Your avatar is super adorable by the way! x3
firstly: unfortunately, ı don't really have a good English so sorry for all mistakes ı did! plus its toooooo long comment so pls be prepared:') (sorry for writing too much hehe ı couldn't stop myself)
Helloooo ım here again! ı played the game and got two good endings (well ı think they are good endings) ı couldn't really bring myself to get other endings in a fear of well ı might see something ı wish not. why? well probably because of ı saw myself as a Saffie while plying the games time to time..that was an amazing game ^^ thank you so much for everyone who worked on this (and thank you for brining such an beautiful story alive)
ok now what ı will write will both include my own emotions and talking (maybe rambling nonsense :')) and my thoıghts about game more deeply with spoilers so anyone who doesn't wanna get any kind of emotional nonsense and spoilers please skip this part
I don't know if ım a autistic girl or not (ı am kind of sure ı have learning disabilities but some of my friends say ı might be high functioning autistic person too) tbh ı also don't want to know it either even ıf ım autistic.
why? because ı exactly think like saffie if you are different from the rest well congrats. you are doomed. Of course, that wasn't the case for me ı had a family who gave me great comfort zone (my room) and protected me feed me gave gifts and technically anything ı wanted to me. ı was a lucky kid. but ı know part of me is broken too... ı can vividly remember how my mom cried loudly saying things like what kind of sin she committed to have a child like me (ı was aggressive as a kid since ı couldn't really control my emotions and ı was really dumb one too like ı learned everything too late and no matter how much my mom tried) ı also have a mind that usually leans on unhappy memories than a happy ones. but again, expect being yelled by my parents or them laughing at my mistakes or myself ı only got bullied once and that was over a dumb reason and no ı didn't got beaten up either... it's just those kids followed me while ım going back to my home after school (home was pretty close) they laughed at me and kicked my backpack that's all. but still being lucky kid ı both understood Saffie and felt guilty because ı think ''ı understand her'' too. since as ı said there so many people living a hell unlike me. and yet ım somehow broken too with no reason. ı have a friend who literally same age with me (20) and has a child, taking care of the house, herself and the lessons at the same time and here ı am doing nothing except keep remembering my bad memories. anyway, in the game when ı saw how she clinged over a bear it kind of reminds me how ım clinging into my ''childhood'' and my toys and games now ı dont want to leave them no matter how weird ı am looking. ıt feels like ı will be lose my ''true self'' when ı lose them. ı can remember that ı actually cried over my 10 years old almost dead laptop because ı got a new one and have to give it away haha.
in game ı actually hose to wait the creature yet once she suddenly go for suicide ı changed my option immediately... only to get into same point but the story ı got was really good and ım happy she didn't died... tho ı still don't understand why did Snowe brought her into prison-like place... the door was open which was good. but if ı were Saffie ı wouldn't try to open it either since it just looks locked XD (being pessimistic haha ) plus ı don't even know where ı am and ı might die outside. plus, the acts of Snowe actually reminded me part myself too. the part me that wanted to be ''normal'' or perhaps wanted to be ''accepted''? anyway ı always hated when someone saw me with tears and suddenly rush to me asking what happened but that always caused my tears to flow even more which ı hated. ı didn't want to cry in front of anyone because ı thought that's just being weak and it's not like they will solve my problems anyway so what's the point? hearing me out and then forget my words in few hours doesn't change anything except that they might pity me. which ı didn't want... ı didn't want to be ''poor thing'' ı wanted to be someone they see great since ı was also afraid that seeing my true self will only make them stay away from me (although ı look calm most of the time ı still have some issues while controlling my emotions especially when ı feel overwhelmed)
seeing characters as myself ı noticed small story inside of my head slowly shaped over the years ( it's more like me definin myself using analogy than a story but why not?) ı can't tell the full one since ı has too many hollows since ı didnt really write it down (plus its boring :p)
but ıt was something like this:
there was a pure light in the form of little girl full of hope and love she wished to be loved she wished to be happy with everyone but for some reason life didn't grant her wish and for some reason people around didn't want to be with her, ignored her, or said things that make her feel sad. little light didn't understand what she did wrong. but for some reason she left alone yet no one told her. she kept trying but things also kept being same.
soon after another form appeared ıt was opposite of little light ıt was pitch black in a form a girl the just like her apperiance she was opposite of little light. She was full of rage and sadness. She also wanted to hurt anyone she felt insecure with. At first little light was scared of darkness’ existance. It was carrying bad memories and acting aggresively ıt was obvious that ıf anyone see darkness they would hate her. So light decided to escape from darkness while preventing her to do anything to others. But there was times that darknes grew so strong that light could no longer avoid it and both of them got hurt in every explosion. After explosion darkness usually became more silent and light hoped that she would keep staying like that. But this became a circle and time gaps between explosions were getting shorter due to outside world was chancing making darkness even more insecure. This kept happening until the day that darkness become so strong and unstoppable, and explosions became one after another. Light was desperately trying to avoid the risk of people around her getting hurt by darkness, but she was also tired. But when things felt hopeless, and light could no longer avoid darkness. Light finally turned to darkness and looked at her. This time instead of how darkness surrounded everywhere with pitch black color almost forcing her way out tos how herself this time light looked at her by her decision. And after getting closer she noticed… that this darkness she has been avoiding was no one but her.
It was her feelings that she kept silent, ıt was her wish to stand her ground when someone made her upset, ıt was her that she got afraid tos how and hid and all those explosions were actually nothing but cries of her sadness and broken dreams that she tried to muffle.
Light noticed that what she avoids was not monster that must be hate and shoo away. But actually, the old wish of being accepted and loved that has been broken by others. It was both a despair and anger towards people who ignored her and hope that maybe someone will still see her accept her. This was the actual form of darkness that light misunderstood.
Seeing darkness true form with finally opened eyes.
Light slowly takes action in this whole mess. she slowly gets closer to darkness, to her desperate side, and then light hugs darkness with these words
‘’ No matter what happens please never fall into despair, ıts never too late and you are not uncapable of anything too, never give up on trying. Even you fail and there will no one loves you. I will be here and ı will always love you no matter what. You did nothing wrong’’.
with this explosion got weaker and there were tears on both light’s and darkness’ eyes.
after that ıt wasnt like explosions were gone but at least now darkness and light was working together to make these explosions less and less devastating towards both of them and towards the outside world. Perhaps their efforts will take years to finally soothe the explotions but fort hem ıts fine. As long as they keep trying together ıt will be never late afterall.
-end of the story-
so yeah ı wrote this when ı was super overwhelmed and everything was going bad. This story is technically ı used this story to see the main problem of my pain and try to release both me and my regrets so ı can finally breathe comfortably. İn the end ı really managed to say this words to myself and ıt feels like my mind ‘’the other me’’ heard it.. because after managing to end this road in days ı started to see someone supportive dreams which never happened to me before. Whenever ı got sick ı always had terrible nightmares. But after that event suddenly ı started to see my favorite game characters come to praise me and comfort me from my troubles saying things like ‘’ take care of yourself you are more important’’ which makes me so happy whenever ı see them (ı see those dreams so rarely these days ;w; noo)
anyway ı rambled too much perhaps because ı hope that this comment will be read by some people or just someone (^^ thank you for anyone who managed to came this far)
overall this is a great game ım also pretty touched by the ending writing thank you for all hard work ı feel truly lucky that ı found your games ı hope you will also take care of yourself and continue making games (with rest ^^). It was amazing game .
You don’t need to apologise :3 Your English is better than you think! And you never have to apologise for writing too much cos I do it all the time, haha x3 I just really appreciate the fact that you enjoyed the game enough to want to write about it ^-^ So yeah, thank you so much for playing this one as well!
None of the bad endings are especially bad in this one :3 I guess it’s a slight spoiler to say but, no one dies in any of the endings at least! It’s just the bad endings are significantly less happy than the good ones is all, haha.
I tried not to lean too heavily into the autistic stuff with Saffie as a character in the hope that she might still be relatable even for people without any experience of autism :3 So yeah, I guess even though the diagnosis is kind of a trigger that leads her to head out into the wilderness, her anxiety and depression is ultimately the main problem in her life that causes her to feel so terrible.
Sometimes with stuff like autism, it can be helpful to know, but in many instances, having a diagnosis isn’t helpful anyways or can even be detrimental for some people, so I don’t blame you for not wanting to know!
I’m glad you could empathise with Saffie either way :3
Having a loving family is always going to be better than not having something like that, but the worst thing about depression and stuff is that it can still manage to worm its way inside you even if you have love in your life :(
The very first time I went to therapy, I said to the therapist something along the lines of not understanding why I felt so terrible because I had loving parents and no trauma in my initial upbringing as a kid. I said I shouldn’t feel this way when there are people out there who have nothing, who are suffering and living lives soooo much worse than mine. And the therapist said to me that I shouldn’t compare my suffering to other people’s suffering because it will never change the fact that if you’re hurting, for whatever reason, you’re hurting. You have to live in your body and deal with your mind, and if you’re depressed then you’re depressed x3
I guess I should probably say there are spoilers from now on!
Yeah, unfortunately, you can’t avoid Saffie choosing to commit suicide since it’s a key point in the story, but no matter what the player chooses, Saffie will never actually be successful in her suicide attempt.
Snowe put Saffie in the prison for a few different reasons. Firstly, Snowe was scared that Saffie would try to hurt herself again, so genuinely wanted to keep an eye on her and keep her safe until Snowe was more confident that Saffie wouldn’t try to hurt herself again. At the same time, Snowe was extremely lonely and wanted to keep Saffie there for more selfish reasons. And yeah, Snowe didn’t actually lock the cage because Snowe didn’t want to truly hold Saffie there against her will + Snowe was fairly confident Saffie wouldn’t try to escape because Snowe had once had a similar mindset to Saffie in the past just feeling stuck.
I always used to try and hide my emotions from people too because I didn’t want them to worry x3 especially from my parents when I was having a bad time at school! I knew if they saw me cry they would just worry, and I didn’t really even know how to explain to them that I felt so awful and that school was the cause. Plus I always feel really bad when other people are sad, so if my crying made them sad, it would only make me feel even worse to have upset them >.<
But yeah, I totally agree, having people pity you just isn’t helpful and makes you feel even worse >.< It doesn’t solve anything, and as you say, everything will often be forgotten again soon and people move on.
Like you, I also look calm on the outside a lot of the time when inside my emotions are exploding and I’m struggling to control them. It’s really hard to live like that cos it’s like constantly having to monitor myself to make sure I don’t erupt and accidentally hurt myself or someone else >.<
I think it’s good to use stories to help process feelings and emotions :3 Writing it all down like you did by sharing your story here can be cathartic and possibly even lead to connecting with others who have similar experiences! The worst thing about being depressed is feeling like you’re fighting the darkness all on your own, so the more people who share their stories, the less alone everyone will feel if they happen to find them :3
I feel like your story would look amazing as a short animation! But I don’t have the skills to make something like that >.<
I definitely empathise with your story :3 And for real life it’s very significant because if you carry negative feelings with you and just ignore them or try to push them away, they will only end up causing more harm :( We have to acknowledge all parts of ourselves, even the parts that are painful to face. It’s super hard and even though I’ve been trying to work on it for years, we have to try our best to accept ourselves and be kind to ourselves. Cos yeah, beating ourselves up about stuff is only ever gonna make everything worse. We get enough crap from other people, so we’ve got to try to at least be on our own side x3 Having all parts of ourselves unified is the ideal way to move forward and try to be happier :3
Sometimes it is really helpful to write stuff down like that because you can make sense of things a lot better when they’re outside of your head. When you keep everything inside, it just gets all muddled and murky + almost impossible to unravel >.< So I’m glad that writing was able to help you see things about yourself more clearly :3 It definitely helps me a lot sometimes!
You didn’t ramble too much anyhow! There is no such thing as too much rambling :D
I’m truly lucky to have amazing people like you check out my games! So thank you very much again for playing and taking the time to write so much cos it really means a lot :3
I hope that you’re able to have happy times to balance out the times that aren’t so good! I guess all of us who carry some darkness inside us are always going to struggle >.< but I hope that we can at least find things to hold onto that help keep us going and make life worth living despite the bad times :3
I hope 2024 has been going as well as possible for you so far! And I hope you’re taking care of yourself :3
This visual novel was simply fantastic. I absolutely admire the wonderful story-line, the beautiful character design, the voice acting, the CGs and basically everything about this game was just admirable. Considering it was made in under a month makes it even more wonderful. The theme of the story was so well written. You really managed to put emotion into the writing and portrayed Saffie's problems ever so accurately. I could practically feel what she was feeling(sort of). All the endings, be it good or bad, were so well written. The way both Saffie and Snowe bonded over their shared problems was touching to see. Not to mention, the way a single choice changed the outcome of the story so drastically was incredible. You did an amazing job with the game and your efforts were definitely not in vain for the results are truly spectacular!
This must have been quite tiring to finish in a month, so i wish you a well earned rest! Don't tire yourself out too much! And I hope you have a Happy New Year!
Aww, thanks so much for playing and for all your kind words ^-^ So glad you enjoyed the game! I honestly didn’t think anyone would play it x3
It makes me super happy to hear that you felt the emotion came across in the writing because I always find it really hard to tell if I’ve managed to achieve that >.< and especially when it comes to such a sensitive subject! I was kind of worried that I should keep stories like this to myself in case anyone comes across it and it upsets them in some way.
And I’m really glad that you thought the way the characters bonded was touching because that was another thing I worried about a lot x3 I thought maybe because the story was short, it wouldn’t come across very well how they bonded and grew together because there wasn’t enough time to portray it very well, so it’s a huge relief to know that it still came across!
Aaaaand, I also worried a little bit that any players might be annoyed by the fact that the choices weren’t super complex, so you’ve stopped me from worrying about that too :D
You’re right that it was tiring to try and get it done in time x3 I still need to get more done on it to finish it completely by adding the masculine voice for Snowe, but it was a huge relief to manage to get at least 1 voice version finished for the end of the jam.
Hope you had a wonderful new year and that 2024 has been going great for you so far! :3
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Sorry to leave another message already, but I tried to run the game just now, and after I chose the masculine voice, it started loading the game again, and crashed. Yeah...I might need a separate version of the game after all. So sorry for all of the trouble.
You don't need to apologise :3 I guess the extra voice files must've made it more of a struggle to load on winlator then >.<
I'm travelling to spend a few days with my friend atm as we haven't met up since August last year, so I can't type much without getting travel sick x3
I'll reply properly to your other message when I get home next week though + see if I can fiddle around adding more loads into a separate version of the game for you :3 Although, I'm a little worried it might not help if it's struggling with the overall load of the game size as a whole >.< I can try though and see if more loads will make a difference!
Heck, if you're only interested in the masculine version of Snowe, I could take out all of the files for the feminine version because that should help!
I hope you get to have as good of a week as possible :3
That's okay, just stay safe and have fun with your friend. Your health is more important than anything.
Ooh, that is a good idea! Taking out feminine Snowe's voice lines as well should definitely help. I don't usually date girls in games, so it's fine.
Take as long as you need to reply and enjoy your day and rest of the week.
Awww this was so lovely, or at least ended up that way in ending 6.
I was weary the whole time, cautious with my decisions. I *really* didn't want to get a bad ending here. I knew the spirit, althought very cryptic, had Saffie's best interests at heart. Or at least that's what I chose to believe, which gladly was rewarded with that lovely ending.
The topics developed across the game are very serious and important, and your work with them was marvellous. The complete disbelief and cynicism in Saffie, and how it could only end one way in her mind, yet how Snowe knew exactly what to do, in her own... very unique way lol
I really liked her character, and how she acted. She knew how everything would go, and she knew where to push to get Saffie to open up to herself, rather than to Snowe. She knew that was the only way she could let her free without her carrying on with her previous plan.
The message at the end of the game is also a very encouraging, and I'm SO glad you're here to tell it to everyone! It requires a lot of courage to go all the way into the open like that, to try and reach out to those who need it.
Now, on technical aspects, the game is pretty darn good as usual! Everything is in really high quality, and the music, SFX and VA just give it the perfect touch!
Thank you for doing it!!!
Holy moly I can't believe you played this one x3 This was so unexpected, but it made me smile :3 Thanks so much for taking the time to type all that out! You're too kind as always x3
Yeeeah, ending 6 is probably the happiest one, depending on how close you want Saffie and Snowe to be I guess, haha.
Ending 1 isn't even technically an ending. Ending 2 is just sad x3 Ending 3 is somewhat disturbing, haha. Ending 4 is happy, but I guess bittersweet. Ending 5 is probably the most disturbing of them all, but it looks pretty xD Ending 6 is quite possibly the most innocent one. Ending 7 is what I guess I think of as the canon ending since that's the one I gave a vocal track to! Ending 8 is probably my favourite though because it seems so sweet until it's kind of not xD and it's just fun to imagine what happens after, haha.
I don't think any of the bad endings are that bad in this x3 They're just kind of tragic without anyone truly perishing! But I can say that easily cos I know everything that can happen, haha. If I were playing it, like you, I'd be extremely cautious with my choices cos I'd hate to be the cause of something awful >.<
With Snowe being a soft yandere, I guess Snowe technically always has Saffie's best interests at heart, but it comes out in different ways depending on her decisions x3 I'm glad you got that ending first though because it's at least one of the more uplifting ones!
Honestly, it means a hell of a lot that you thought I handled those topics decently because I always worry with sensitive subjects like that about accidentally hurting someone somehow :( cos I know everyone's experiences are different and very personal when it comes to mental health. The last thing I want to do is offend or upset anyone by putting my own feelings out there in bits and pieces x3 I really had to sit and think on whether it was something I should release publically at all.
I'm so glad Snowe came across that way ^-^ It might sound a bit weird, but I hoped that the game might have a sort of anti-horror feel in the sense that it seems like some super dark stuff might happen, but really, there's a big warm hug wrapped up in there x3 Especially with most of my games being horror games with yandere stuff in them. And so I wanted Snowe to be both yandere and also somewhat anti-yandere at the same time... which sounds like nonsense now that I've typed it, but I know what I mean xD I just lack the words to properly describe what I'm grasping at, haha.
I also wasn't sure whether or not to include that message because I find it difficult to know if it might come across as too much, or preachy, or anything like that >.< but at the end of the day, if it can reach even 1 person who happens to need to hear it at the time, then it's worth potentially being grilled over x3 I don't think I'm very good at consoling people because I never really know what to do when others are hurting >.< I just wish we lived in a world where no one had to hurt like that in the first place.
It makes me really happy that you think it came out high quality :3 I spent waaaaaay too long editing assets on this one, haha. I just wish I could draw T_T Still found some pesky little bugs as usual while working on the update to add Snowe's masculine voice lines >.> And I know there's a rarely occurring sneaky one still in there that I have no idea how to fix >.<"
I guess since you played the fem Snowe version that means you played the version of the game where Saffie's VA is the only proper VA x3 The rest is just me muddling along and using speech-to-speech dubbing to try and make it work as best I could at the time >.< haha. Masculine Snowe actually has a proper VA the same as Saffie, but feminine Snowe got lumped with my attempts at voice acting while hiding my actual voice.
Thank YOU for playing it and for writing such a thoughtful comment! You're an absolute legend, and once again you've brightened my day with your kind words, so thank you for that :3 Hope you're having a decent start to 2024 and that you have the most fabulous of Februarys!
Hahahaha I'm glad you felt that way with my comment lol hope your year goes great as well!
Also, damn, I didn't realize you did all those voices yourself. That's one hell of a work! My most sincere congratulations on that too xD I really liked Snowe's femenine voice! I thougt the acting was quite good there, after all, Snowe is a cold onion lol
And yes, I did the femenine route because when I chose the male one the warning about voice acting appeared so... yeah, felt like if there was a fully voiced route, I wanted that one xD
Again, so glad you received my comment with such joy, and thank you for your also kind words :P
Ah i really cried when i saw those heart warming words i really needed it life can be so hard i played this because i'm feeling suicidal and those words really get through me i cried really thank you for making these game...
Thank you for playing the game :3 And I’m sorry you’re feeling suicidal. You’re right, life can be really hard >.< If I’m completely honest, I feel suicidal most of the time, but working on these projects at least helps me to block that out a bit.
I feel like people’s mental health is getting worse and worse as time goes on :( More and more people that I know are dealing with depression than ever before.
You have to keep fighting though because even when it feels like there’s no hope, it’s true that you never know what could happen in the future :3 And it’s true that no feeling lasts forever. As hard as it is to keep going, you have to because you only get one chance at life, and if you commit suicide you might miss out on a lot of wonderful and happy times to come.
The crazy thing is that I feel like I don’t really have a reason to live besides not wanting to hurt the people who love me >.< but like I wrote for Saffie, I don’t exactly want to die either. I just wish life was less painful. I also wish no one had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts because it’s hell. Which is why I wanted to write a story with some happy endings for Saffie :3
I hope that things get better for you soon! + That 2024 turns out to be a brilliant year for you :3
When I tell Snowe that I like his horns, a loading screen come up, then the game crashes. I am assuming there is a lot of content and all of that data made Winlator crash. Do you think you can fix it? Possibly separate some scenes into smaller parts, with more loading screens between? I'm going crazy - I NEED to play this game! It's so therapeutic!
Yeeeah, pretty sure you’re right there because it basically loads the rest of the game after that choice when you click on it, haha. It sucks that it was still too much to load on Winlator >.< Though, tbh, I’m surprised it runs at all on there cos it’s pretty slow to start a new game on my potato laptop x3
I can definitely try to add an extra load in there to see if it makes any difference! Weirdly, it’s not actually that much more that it’s loading when you reach that point, but I can definitely split it so that it hopefully only loads stuff from that branch exclusively.
I’m quite behind on where I wanted to be with the project because I’ve only just been able to get back on my PC for the first time in 2024 this week >.< but I’m trying my best to get masculine Snowe’s lines added, and while I’m working on it, I’ll add extra loads too so that it can all come out in the same update :3
Not sure if I’m gonna manage to make the end of January like I’d hoped, but if I don’t, with any luck, I can get it done in early February!
I’m glad you were having fun with it at least until Winlator died x3 Oh, and I’m not sure about this, but you might have to delete the game + all your existing data if you do want to play the updated version when it’s out. I’m still not 100% sure how it works if you try and load old data in a new version >.< I feel like it would probably cause the game to break.
Hope the new year is going well for you so far! :3
Omg, thank you SO much! I was really enjoying it until it crashed. You are a very skilled writer and an amazing artist, so, even without the rest of Snowe's lines the game is magnificent! I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. It was so worth it to play it even though it took like 25 minutes for the game to start up. I don't care though, because Snowe makes me feel like I matter, and I really love him.
I do understand using a program that not everyone can use easily, though. I can't use Ren'py, or Unity, because I only have a phone, but I found an app called Kocho, and it is so easy to make games with it, that even I can do it. The problem is, you can only play games made with Kocho ON the Kocho app, so it is pretty limiting.
It's okay, I'm fine with deleting this version of the game, because I can't play it, anyway, and updating it without deleting it would add too much additional space for my phone.
The people around you can influence your mood, so things have been...rough to say the least, but this game is like a late Christmas gift, so I feel better knowing that I will be able to play it.
I hope that you are enjoying the new year, and I hope that everyone is as kind to you as you are to me!
I just hope that the addition of all the masc Snowe lines doesn't make it even harder to load >.< The way I've split it up now with the extra load though it really shouldn't use too much for it to load such a small section (fingers crossed anyways x3) Thank you though! You're too kind x3 I still kinda just feel like an incompetent noob stumbling through the world just trying to do things, haha. I'm really glad you like this one though :3 especially when it's such personal subject matter!
25 mins is torture though x3 but still, it's impressive that it can run on that at all! It means a lot if Snowe can make you feel that way though :3 I really wish everyone could have someone in their real life who is able to make them feel loved and cared for. I mean, I absolutely have that in my dad, but when I was in the darkest place of my life many years ago, I was completely cut off from my dad, and I would've given anything to have someone like Snowe come along and rescue me from the whole situation and from myself x3
That sounds like a pretty cool app even with its restrictions! It's nice just to be able to have some form of outlet for creating stuff :3 I got the RPGmaker game on 3DS years ago cos I thought it might be fun to mess around with!
"The people around you can influence your mood, so things have been..."
I feel that >.< I can be having a perfectly decent day, and all it takes for that to come crashing down is for my dad to come in from work depressed or angry, and that then instantly rubs off on me like I've somehow absorbed his feelings into myself x3 I hope things become more positive for you soon though! Rough is not good :(
I'll do my best to get the game working for you at least! If it still struggles to run once I have the update out, just let me know. I probably won't be able to add any more loads than I currently have to the main version without it becoming potentially irritating on other systems, but I could make a separate version for you with more in and just send you a download link or something :3
It's been pretty rough here for different reasons >.< but things are just starting to look up somewhat again now. Let's hope February is a better month for us both :3
I'll definitely let you know if I can't play it; the new Winlator update boasts "improved performance" but, I'm not sure if that means it can run bigger games.
You make such beautiful artwork, and write so well. I know from experience how hard it is to draw, and I can't even color it in like you do. Plus, I can only draw the head and neck of a person, because anatomy is really hard for me to do. And, though writing is pretty much the only thing I'm good at, I really admire your script because it is SO well written. Even your early game, Solipsism Reigns has really great writing and artwork. Especially the sprites - they are SO cute! And I think that the fact that it's personal makes it even more special: like I get to know more about you through this game.
I know, the creator of Winlator is a genius. Snowe and other game characters are enough for me; I don't need anyone else. I understand how you feel, because now that my mom has passed away, I didn't have anyone else who I'm close to, or really love. I know that sounds horrible, but I really don't get along well with my other relatives; still, you are very nice to talk to, so I guess your the only person I get along with, or interact with.
I really wish that I could make RPGmaker games. I would prefer a visual novel maker that can make games that are more compatible with other devices. Sadly, I fear many people can't run Kocho games.
I am so sorry that you have to go through that. My own cousin talks about how I don't clean up when I do, just because her kids leave clothes and toys lying around, and won't pick them up. I can clean the whole kitchen, feed her animals, and clean up ther mess, but she will say that because I don't have a job, I'm not trying to do anything for myself. Ugh. Really, I should just leave, and go to a shelter.
Uh...rant over. But, thank you so much!
Thank you very much! I was wondering what I would do if I still couldn't play it. You are seriously too kind. I would make a game for you if I could to thank you...but, I have another idea, since you can't use Kocho. You don't have a phone, right? But, my gift is a secret. Teehee~
I hope things get even better for you. And I'll try to cheer my depressed self up for you. I am so sorry for the late reply. I haven't touched my phone for probably all of yesterday, and I dont remember what I did Sunday, cause my brain is a bit scrambled right now. I kind of felt a bit worthless for a while, but you made me feel better. I can never thank you enough.
im so glad i finally got to sit down and play this one! i found myself relating a lot to saffi the world isn't really made for us autistic folk and because of that it can become so hard to carry on in a world that was clearly not constructed with your differences in mind especially, when it seems like people like you are so few and far between that you're not quite certain if they actually exist or not or if you're just making it all up in your head. that's why its always so nice and interesting to hear other autistic people talk about their experiences its a great reminder that we are here even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes(it was really interesting hearing you discuss your experience with it in the rambles section). i absolutely loved the writing in this one the third person narration really allowed me to develop feelings for these characters that I've only seen for like an hour even at the very start on my first run through i found myself really caring for saffi and desperately hoping that things work out for her even after only having played for 10 minutes or so. i also really loved this games ost it gave the game a more serene and beautiful vibe even in its more chaotic and scary moments. loved this project absolute 10/10 :3
Thanks so much for playing this one too ^-^ I’m so glad you were able to relate to Saffie! I was a little worried that actually stating she has an ASD diagnosis might make it difficult for players to relate to her whether they have an ASD diagnosis themselves or not since the spectrum is so vast. That’s partly why I tried not to write tooooo much about autism specifically and focus more on Saffie’s feelings in general because anyone can struggle with anxiety and depression at any point in their lives.
I don’t think it helps either that while a lot of people are aware of autism these days, they have a sort of skewed idea of what it looks like due to limited coverage in the media and stuff >.< A lot of folks seem to think we either have special needs and learning difficulties, or we are socially inept geniuses with savant skills, and they don’t realise that it’s not as black and white as that x3 A lot of people with ASD don’t fit into either of those stereotypes. I know I certainly don’t, haha.
I think getting my diagnosis made me feel more able to talk about it and be more open about it as I learn more and more about how it impacts me. Cos pre-diagnosis, even though various professionals had said to me they were 99.9% sure I was autistic, I didn’t want to research it too much or anything just on the very slim chance I wasn’t because I didn’t want to be labelling myself as something I wasn’t. Now that I have a definitive answer that I am autistic, it’s a bit more liberating and I can learn more without worrying about that side of things.
I totally agree though that it’s interesting to hear about other autistic people’s experiences! I find I can generally relate to at least a small part of stuff people write or talk about even if not everything! And it is nice to have a reminder that you’re not completely alone and that there are other people out there who understand you cos it can feel very isolating a lot of the time x3
So glad you liked the different narration from what I usually go for :3 With most of my stuff it’s more designed for like self-inserting I guess, but I really wanted this to be Saffie’s story and have it be more like the player is going on the journey with her I guess. Makes me super happy you liked the OST too since that was pretty much what got me out of the depression bit for a while and what gave me the idea for the game in the first place x3 Since I used making the music as a way to soothe myself, I kinda hoped it might come across as soothing for others in some way too :3
Thanks so much for always being so kind! <3 I hope 2024 is going well for you so far!
please don't
I just so randomly played the game, finished end 1-4 in order with guide, saw the ending words on screen, and immediately left a comment here. Thank you for your effort making this game and heart-warming words.
Edited: I now have completed all endings and I pretty like the idea that you cant change the structure of your brain to make it follow social norms. I'm so tired of people saying "oh it's just a matter of time" or "you'll get used to it" or sentences like that. People around me are always expecting me to change - and they are happy to see my improvements, happy to know that I have the faux ability to change for better. Idk maybe I am indeed used to it in some way. So sad :(
(BTW is it possible to add a feature that allows players to choose from unlocked images for the main menu? The image of end 8 is a bit too bright for my eyes and it remains as the final ending I locked.)
Well, I’m glad you happened to come across it and ended up enjoying it :3 Thanks so much for checking it out and taking the time to get the different endings ^-^
Yeah, the “You’ll get used to it” line is one my mum used to use on me a lot when I was younger, haha. She thought my depression and anxiety was a phase and that the more I exposed myself to the job I was doing at the time, the better I would feel about it eventually because, according to her “That’s life!”…
I never got used to it, and I never felt better, haha. It just made me more and more depressed and then suicidal because it required me to not be myself from the moment I walked into the store >.< And spending the entire day pretending to be someone I wasn’t and attempting to suppress my actual self was just exhausting to the point that I felt like the real me didn’t even exist anymore.
It would technically be possible to add a feature to allow the player to choose the main menu background, but it’s not something I’ve tried to code before, so it would probably take me a while to figure out how to do it x3 I have a rough idea of how to make something like that work. But a quicker fix would be just to start a new game because then it will reset automatically to the original main menu background :3 Also, getting any other ending would do the same thing because it will just replace the menu background with the one that corresponds to that particular ending. Starting a new game would be the fastest way to change it though.
OR... when I update the game soon with the masculine voice lines for Snowe, I could enable the dev console and add the commands to the walkthrough guide or something that would just enable players to open the console and pick a main menu background by altering a score counter!
Thank you again for checking out the project and for your kind words :3
I'll be waiting til January for the masculine voice but I just wanted to let you know THE PREMISE SOUNDS SO FUN I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY IT T_T i've loved all of your games and I'm sure this one won't be the exception <3
It miiiight end up being early February rather than January because I was only just able to get back on my PC for the first time this year this week x3 So I’m pretty behind where I had hoped to be by now with adding those masculine voice lines, haha. It’s possible I might still make it for the very end of January, but I dunno, we shall see xD
I’m glad you’re liking the sound of it anyhow :3 You’re so sweet!! x3 Thanks for always being so kind and supportive! I really appreciate it <3
Hope 2024 is going well for you so far ^-^
Thank you once again for such an amazing experience. I spent Christmas alone and today on New Years Eve I will be alone as well, but at least I can distract myself and play through all the endings, hehe! I got the seventh ending on my first try and I am really happy about that! I wish mystical beings were real. T_T Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a Happy New Year. ^_^
Thank you as well for checking out the game and for leaving such a sweet comment <3
I hope the game proved a decent distraction :3 I’ve spent a handful of Christmases and New Years alone or in the company of abusers, and it’s certainly not the nicest place to be when everyone else is getting all merry and in the mood for the holidays >.<
I hope you at least still had a nice cosy Christmas and a happy new year :3
I wish beings like that were real too! Or heck, even if just magic was real in some capacity and I could talk to animals or something x3
Tbh, I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas cos of how crazily commercialised it is, but the thing I’m most thankful for is being able to spend time with my dad and brother and just chill without my poor dad having to worry about his back-breaking work >.< And I think being away from family in previous years has just made me extra grateful for getting to spend time with them! My Christmas and new year was nice enough :3 Pretty much just chilled indoors with my family. Had a bit of a meltdown on Christmas eve cos too much stress had built up >.< but I managed to relax a bit in the end x3
Hope 2024 has started out well for you! Your avatar is super adorable by the way! x3
firstly: unfortunately, ı don't really have a good English so sorry for all mistakes ı did! plus its toooooo long comment so pls be prepared:') (sorry for writing too much hehe ı couldn't stop myself)
Helloooo ım here again! ı played the game and got two good endings (well ı think they are good endings) ı couldn't really bring myself to get other endings in a fear of well ı might see something ı wish not. why? well probably because of ı saw myself as a Saffie while plying the games time to time..that was an amazing game ^^ thank you so much for everyone who worked on this (and thank you for brining such an beautiful story alive) ok now what ı will write will both include my own emotions and talking (maybe rambling nonsense :')) and my thoıghts about game more deeply with spoilers so anyone who doesn't wanna get any kind of emotional nonsense and spoilers please skip this part I don't know if ım a autistic girl or not (ı am kind of sure ı have learning disabilities but some of my friends say ı might be high functioning autistic person too) tbh ı also don't want to know it either even ıf ım autistic.
why? because ı exactly think like saffie if you are different from the rest well congrats. you are doomed. Of course, that wasn't the case for me ı had a family who gave me great comfort zone (my room) and protected me feed me gave gifts and technically anything ı wanted to me. ı was a lucky kid. but ı know part of me is broken too... ı can vividly remember how my mom cried loudly saying things like what kind of sin she committed to have a child like me (ı was aggressive as a kid since ı couldn't really control my emotions and ı was really dumb one too like ı learned everything too late and no matter how much my mom tried) ı also have a mind that usually leans on unhappy memories than a happy ones. but again, expect being yelled by my parents or them laughing at my mistakes or myself ı only got bullied once and that was over a dumb reason and no ı didn't got beaten up either... it's just those kids followed me while ım going back to my home after school (home was pretty close) they laughed at me and kicked my backpack that's all. but still being lucky kid ı both understood Saffie and felt guilty because ı think ''ı understand her'' too. since as ı said there so many people living a hell unlike me. and yet ım somehow broken too with no reason. ı have a friend who literally same age with me (20) and has a child, taking care of the house, herself and the lessons at the same time and here ı am doing nothing except keep remembering my bad memories. anyway, in the game when ı saw how she clinged over a bear it kind of reminds me how ım clinging into my ''childhood'' and my toys and games now ı dont want to leave them no matter how weird ı am looking. ıt feels like ı will be lose my ''true self'' when ı lose them.
ı can remember that ı actually cried over my 10 years old almost dead laptop because ı got a new one and have to give it away haha.
in game ı actually hose to wait the creature yet once she suddenly go for suicide ı changed my option immediately... only to get into same point but the story ı got was really good and ım happy she didn't died... tho ı still don't understand why did Snowe brought her into prison-like place... the door was open which was good. but if ı were Saffie ı wouldn't try to open it either since it just looks locked XD (being pessimistic haha ) plus ı don't even know where ı am and ı might die outside. plus, the acts of Snowe actually reminded me part myself too. the part me that wanted to be ''normal'' or perhaps wanted to be ''accepted''? anyway ı always hated when someone saw me with tears and suddenly rush to me asking what happened but that always caused my tears to flow even more which ı hated. ı didn't want to cry in front of anyone because ı thought that's just being weak and it's not like they will solve my problems anyway so what's the point? hearing me out and then forget my words in few hours doesn't change anything except that they might pity me. which ı didn't want... ı didn't want to be ''poor thing'' ı wanted to be someone they see great since ı was also afraid that seeing my true self will only make them stay away from me (although ı look calm most of the time ı still have some issues while controlling my emotions especially when ı feel overwhelmed)
seeing characters as myself ı noticed small story inside of my head slowly shaped over the years ( it's more like me definin myself using analogy than a story but why not?) ı can't tell the full one since ı has too many hollows since ı didnt really write it down (plus its boring :p) but ıt was something like this:
there was a pure light in the form of little girl full of hope and love she wished to be loved she wished to be happy with everyone but for some reason life didn't grant her wish and for some reason people around didn't want to be with her, ignored her, or said things that make her feel sad. little light didn't understand what she did wrong. but for some reason she left alone yet no one told her. she kept trying but things also kept being same.
soon after another form appeared ıt was opposite of little light ıt was pitch black in a form a girl the just like her apperiance she was opposite of little light. She was full of rage and sadness. She also wanted to hurt anyone she felt insecure with. At first little light was scared of darkness’ existance. It was carrying bad memories and acting aggresively ıt was obvious that ıf anyone see darkness they would hate her. So light decided to escape from darkness while preventing her to do anything to others. But there was times that darknes grew so strong that light could no longer avoid it and both of them got hurt in every explosion. After explosion darkness usually became more silent and light hoped that she would keep staying like that. But this became a circle and time gaps between explosions were getting shorter due to outside world was chancing making darkness even more insecure. This kept happening until the day that darkness become so strong and unstoppable, and explosions became one after another. Light was desperately trying to avoid the risk of people around her getting hurt by darkness, but she was also tired. But when things felt hopeless, and light could no longer avoid darkness. Light finally turned to darkness and looked at her. This time instead of how darkness surrounded everywhere with pitch black color almost forcing her way out tos how herself this time light looked at her by her decision. And after getting closer she noticed… that this darkness she has been avoiding was no one but her.
It was her feelings that she kept silent, ıt was her wish to stand her ground when someone made her upset, ıt was her that she got afraid tos how and hid and all those explosions were actually nothing but cries of her sadness and broken dreams that she tried to muffle.
Light noticed that what she avoids was not monster that must be hate and shoo away. But actually, the old wish of being accepted and loved that has been broken by others. It was both a despair and anger towards people who ignored her and hope that maybe someone will still see her accept her. This was the actual form of darkness that light misunderstood. Seeing darkness true form with finally opened eyes.
Light slowly takes action in this whole mess. she slowly gets closer to darkness, to her desperate side, and then light hugs darkness with these words ‘’ No matter what happens please never fall into despair, ıts never too late and you are not uncapable of anything too, never give up on trying. Even you fail and there will no one loves you. I will be here and ı will always love you no matter what. You did nothing wrong’’.
with this explosion got weaker and there were tears on both light’s and darkness’ eyes.
after that ıt wasnt like explosions were gone but at least now darkness and light was working together to make these explosions less and less devastating towards both of them and towards the outside world. Perhaps their efforts will take years to finally soothe the explotions but fort hem ıts fine. As long as they keep trying together ıt will be never late afterall.
-end of the story-
so yeah ı wrote this when ı was super overwhelmed and everything was going bad. This story is technically ı used this story to see the main problem of my pain and try to release both me and my regrets so ı can finally breathe comfortably. İn the end ı really managed to say this words to myself and ıt feels like my mind ‘’the other me’’ heard it.. because after managing to end this road in days ı started to see someone supportive dreams which never happened to me before. Whenever ı got sick ı always had terrible nightmares. But after that event suddenly ı started to see my favorite game characters come to praise me and comfort me from my troubles saying things like ‘’ take care of yourself you are more important’’ which makes me so happy whenever ı see them (ı see those dreams so rarely these days ;w; noo) anyway ı rambled too much perhaps because ı hope that this comment will be read by some people or just someone (^^ thank you for anyone who managed to came this far) overall this is a great game ım also pretty touched by the ending writing thank you for all hard work ı feel truly lucky that ı found your games ı hope you will also take care of yourself and continue making games (with rest ^^). It was amazing game .
You don’t need to apologise :3 Your English is better than you think! And you never have to apologise for writing too much cos I do it all the time, haha x3 I just really appreciate the fact that you enjoyed the game enough to want to write about it ^-^ So yeah, thank you so much for playing this one as well!
None of the bad endings are especially bad in this one :3 I guess it’s a slight spoiler to say but, no one dies in any of the endings at least! It’s just the bad endings are significantly less happy than the good ones is all, haha.
I tried not to lean too heavily into the autistic stuff with Saffie as a character in the hope that she might still be relatable even for people without any experience of autism :3 So yeah, I guess even though the diagnosis is kind of a trigger that leads her to head out into the wilderness, her anxiety and depression is ultimately the main problem in her life that causes her to feel so terrible.
Sometimes with stuff like autism, it can be helpful to know, but in many instances, having a diagnosis isn’t helpful anyways or can even be detrimental for some people, so I don’t blame you for not wanting to know!
I’m glad you could empathise with Saffie either way :3
Having a loving family is always going to be better than not having something like that, but the worst thing about depression and stuff is that it can still manage to worm its way inside you even if you have love in your life :(
The very first time I went to therapy, I said to the therapist something along the lines of not understanding why I felt so terrible because I had loving parents and no trauma in my initial upbringing as a kid. I said I shouldn’t feel this way when there are people out there who have nothing, who are suffering and living lives soooo much worse than mine. And the therapist said to me that I shouldn’t compare my suffering to other people’s suffering because it will never change the fact that if you’re hurting, for whatever reason, you’re hurting. You have to live in your body and deal with your mind, and if you’re depressed then you’re depressed x3
I guess I should probably say there are spoilers from now on!
Yeah, unfortunately, you can’t avoid Saffie choosing to commit suicide since it’s a key point in the story, but no matter what the player chooses, Saffie will never actually be successful in her suicide attempt.
Snowe put Saffie in the prison for a few different reasons. Firstly, Snowe was scared that Saffie would try to hurt herself again, so genuinely wanted to keep an eye on her and keep her safe until Snowe was more confident that Saffie wouldn’t try to hurt herself again. At the same time, Snowe was extremely lonely and wanted to keep Saffie there for more selfish reasons. And yeah, Snowe didn’t actually lock the cage because Snowe didn’t want to truly hold Saffie there against her will + Snowe was fairly confident Saffie wouldn’t try to escape because Snowe had once had a similar mindset to Saffie in the past just feeling stuck.
I always used to try and hide my emotions from people too because I didn’t want them to worry x3 especially from my parents when I was having a bad time at school! I knew if they saw me cry they would just worry, and I didn’t really even know how to explain to them that I felt so awful and that school was the cause. Plus I always feel really bad when other people are sad, so if my crying made them sad, it would only make me feel even worse to have upset them >.<
But yeah, I totally agree, having people pity you just isn’t helpful and makes you feel even worse >.< It doesn’t solve anything, and as you say, everything will often be forgotten again soon and people move on.
Like you, I also look calm on the outside a lot of the time when inside my emotions are exploding and I’m struggling to control them. It’s really hard to live like that cos it’s like constantly having to monitor myself to make sure I don’t erupt and accidentally hurt myself or someone else >.<
I think it’s good to use stories to help process feelings and emotions :3 Writing it all down like you did by sharing your story here can be cathartic and possibly even lead to connecting with others who have similar experiences! The worst thing about being depressed is feeling like you’re fighting the darkness all on your own, so the more people who share their stories, the less alone everyone will feel if they happen to find them :3
I feel like your story would look amazing as a short animation! But I don’t have the skills to make something like that >.<
I definitely empathise with your story :3 And for real life it’s very significant because if you carry negative feelings with you and just ignore them or try to push them away, they will only end up causing more harm :( We have to acknowledge all parts of ourselves, even the parts that are painful to face. It’s super hard and even though I’ve been trying to work on it for years, we have to try our best to accept ourselves and be kind to ourselves. Cos yeah, beating ourselves up about stuff is only ever gonna make everything worse. We get enough crap from other people, so we’ve got to try to at least be on our own side x3 Having all parts of ourselves unified is the ideal way to move forward and try to be happier :3
Sometimes it is really helpful to write stuff down like that because you can make sense of things a lot better when they’re outside of your head. When you keep everything inside, it just gets all muddled and murky + almost impossible to unravel >.< So I’m glad that writing was able to help you see things about yourself more clearly :3 It definitely helps me a lot sometimes!
You didn’t ramble too much anyhow! There is no such thing as too much rambling :D
I’m truly lucky to have amazing people like you check out my games! So thank you very much again for playing and taking the time to write so much cos it really means a lot :3
I hope that you’re able to have happy times to balance out the times that aren’t so good! I guess all of us who carry some darkness inside us are always going to struggle >.< but I hope that we can at least find things to hold onto that help keep us going and make life worth living despite the bad times :3
I hope 2024 has been going as well as possible for you so far! And I hope you’re taking care of yourself :3
This visual novel was simply fantastic. I absolutely admire the wonderful story-line, the beautiful character design, the voice acting, the CGs and basically everything about this game was just admirable. Considering it was made in under a month makes it even more wonderful. The theme of the story was so well written. You really managed to put emotion into the writing and portrayed Saffie's problems ever so accurately. I could practically feel what she was feeling(sort of). All the endings, be it good or bad, were so well written. The way both Saffie and Snowe bonded over their shared problems was touching to see. Not to mention, the way a single choice changed the outcome of the story so drastically was incredible. You did an amazing job with the game and your efforts were definitely not in vain for the results are truly spectacular!
This must have been quite tiring to finish in a month, so i wish you a well earned rest! Don't tire yourself out too much! And I hope you have a Happy New Year!
Aww, thanks so much for playing and for all your kind words ^-^ So glad you enjoyed the game! I honestly didn’t think anyone would play it x3
It makes me super happy to hear that you felt the emotion came across in the writing because I always find it really hard to tell if I’ve managed to achieve that >.< and especially when it comes to such a sensitive subject! I was kind of worried that I should keep stories like this to myself in case anyone comes across it and it upsets them in some way.
And I’m really glad that you thought the way the characters bonded was touching because that was another thing I worried about a lot x3 I thought maybe because the story was short, it wouldn’t come across very well how they bonded and grew together because there wasn’t enough time to portray it very well, so it’s a huge relief to know that it still came across!
Aaaaand, I also worried a little bit that any players might be annoyed by the fact that the choices weren’t super complex, so you’ve stopped me from worrying about that too :D
You’re right that it was tiring to try and get it done in time x3 I still need to get more done on it to finish it completely by adding the masculine voice for Snowe, but it was a huge relief to manage to get at least 1 voice version finished for the end of the jam.
Hope you had a wonderful new year and that 2024 has been going great for you so far! :3